I am enough.

13 May

“You’ll make a beautiful bride.”

With this one sentence I found myself caught like a deer in the headlights, en route to an unnecessary—and somewhat misguided—reality check from a stranger.

While you might think it sounds like a compliment, a backhand quickly followed.

After dishing out advice on what NOT to wear if I walk down the aisle (no strapless, sweetheart-necklines with an embellished bodice … apparently that look is so 2007), this matrimonial-focused stranger asked my age.

“I’m 31 next month,” I replied, causing her to practically choke on her canapé.

“The average age for brides is 29,” she spluttered, horrified that I had let an extra 24 months slip past without securing myself a groom and a happy ever after with 2.4 kids and a house with a white picket fence.

Apparently, without realising it, I had passed my prime.

Once again, my marital status had hijacked a conversation; I’ve had dinners disrupted with offers of blind dates, psycho-analysis performed over pancakes and been told I was too choosy over coffee.

Unfortunately, common decency means I rarely respond with the two word, seven letter phrase I’d often like to use.

Instead, I smile and nod while thinking about where to take my next overseas holiday or whether to splurge on a new leather jacket or Marc Jacobs handbag.

Then I go home to my single-girl apartment and do whatever the hell I like.

I watch back-to-back episodes of Law & Order SVU for eight hours, dance around my lounge room to Nikki Minaj at 7am in the morning and drink milk straight out of the bottle (not that I do … often).

New York University Professor of Sociology Eric Klinenberg (author of Going Solo – The Extraordinary Rise and

Bottoms up to the single life!

Bottoms up to the single life!

Surprising Appeal of Living Alone) claims the majority of people who live alone are actually more socially active with friends and neighbours than their married counterparts.

So what does it matter if my life occasionally resembles a Taylor Swift song? Or if I have moments where I seem to be the romantically-challenged lovechild of Bridget Jones and Nina from Offspring?

I am enough. Just the way I am (thanks Mark Darcy).

I have a great job working for an organisation I believe in. I pay my bills on time. I have lived overseas and lived on my own. I have travelled extensively and continue to do so.

I donate to charity. I vote and I fish. My friends trust me to babysit their children and help plan their weddings. I am impulsive and spontaneous and have been known to rearrange holiday plans and cancel flights at the last minute. I cut my own fringe.

At school I danced to Paula Abdul’s Opposites Attract in the talent quest. Twice. And I won a bottle of champagne in a New Year’s Eve limbo competition when I was 17. I learned the hard way not to say yes to a date with someone you don’t know/like and I discovered that sometimes love isn’t enough.

And, yes, I did once break up with someone because their laugh annoyed me, but that doesn’t make me picky, it just means I can’t fathom a life without Rebel Wilson and Will Ferrel movies.

“The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you that you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”
—Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City—

Maybe I’m waiting for Ryan Gosling to come along and sweep me off my feet or maybe—and this is shocking, I know—I’m not waiting at all. I’m out there living my life, one glorious diaster after the next.

I’m okay with not knowing what or who is around the next corner … perhaps it will be someone who finds my weirdness endearing and wants to fly his freak flag and join in my crazy adventures or perhaps it will just be a kickass pair of shoes from Dubai.

But what I do know is that I don’t need some random stranger—or even a well-meaning friend—pushing their expectations onto me and trying to make me doubt my choices. Because I am enough.

So please stop asking me why I’m single because, if I’m honest, the answer might offend you.

{Recipe} The Brookie

4 May

Last weekend I discovered a new, and already much loved, concept in baked goods—the ‘brookie’.

What is it? … Well, it’s the ultimate mash-up of brownies and cookies.

The creators ... Baked's Matt Lewis and Renato Poliafito. (92y.org)

The creators … Baked’s Matt Lewis and Renato Poliafito. (92y.org)

Credit for the brookie (also know as the brookster) goes to Matt Lewis and Renato Poliafito of Brooklyn’s Baked who took two simple recipes—brownies and cookies—and melded them together.

It’s so simple, it’s genius.

And the best part is, there are no set rules—you can mix and match recipes to your hearts content.

“They’re up there with cookies and cream ice-cream as a brilliant mash-up of two awesome things in life.”
—My secret taste tester—

You can make this recipe super quick and easy by using a brownie packet mix and also pre-made cookie dough, but given it was for my mates, I thought I’d get my Betty Crocker on and bake from scratch.

Ingredients:

Brownie mix:
120g good quality dark chocolate (I opted for Cadbury’s baking milk chocolate)
125g butter
200g caster sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 eggs
85g plain flour
2 tbs good quality cocoabrookie3Cookie dough:
125g butter, softened
½ cup brown sugar
⅓ cup caster sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1½ cups self-raising flour
¾ cup milk chocolate chips

Method:

  1. Preheat oven to 180C.
  2. Melt the chocolate in a bowl over a saucepan of simmering water, then set aside to cool.
  3. Beat together the butter and sugar until pale. Add vanilla and the eggs, one at a time, stirring until just combined.
  4. Sift the flour and cocoa, then fold into the egg mixture followed by the chocolate.
  5. In a separate bowl, beat butter and sugars until light and fluffy.
  6. Whisk in egg and vanilla. Stir in flour then fold through chocolate chips.
  7. Pour the brownie batter into mini cupcake tins that have been sprayed generously with cooking spray.
  8. Spoon 1 generous tsp of cookie dough into the centre of each filled cupcake tin, gently pressing down into the batter.
  9. Bake for 15-18 minutes or until cooked through.

Enjoy!

brookie1

Tears as sun rises at Gallipoli

22 Apr

Huddled in the dark some whispered quietly while others, like myself, listened as water lapped the nearby shore, taking in the atmosphere of such an emotionally charged event.

As more tourists joined the waiting crowd, the cold settled over their shoulders. There was no loud voices, none of the embarrassing chants so often associated with Australians on tour.

I stood with a sleeping bag wrapped around my body and the Australian flag draped proudly around my shoulders.

It was April 25, 2009 and I was in Gallipoli to commemorate Anzac Day.

In those few moments before the Dawn Service began, my thoughts were with the young men whose lives we were there to commemorate—the thousands who did not make it home and those who did, scarred forever by the tragedy that unfolded over eight months in 1915.

It had been 94 years since the Anzacs landed on the beach at Gallipoli in the early hours of April 25, yet their spirit lives on as thousands of young antipodeans visit this tragic spot as a rite of passage.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning,
We will remember them.
- The Ode of Remembrance –

Living just a short flight away in London, I was keen to see this battlefield for myself and pay my respects to the 60,000 Australian soldiers believed to have served in this small seaside area.

What I experienced during those 24 hours will stay with me forever because no one walks away from Gallipoli untouched.

Were it not for the 37 cemeteries and war memorials scattered across its peninsula, the area’s beauty could almost mask its tragic past; where wildflowers now grow, blood was once spilled.

Walking through a beachside cemetery on the eve of Anzac Day, I passed a grave honouring John Simpson Kirkpatrick. Although I’m not much of a history buff, I remembered the story of Simpson and his donkey from my days at school.

Later, as dusk turned to night, people continued to stream into the area, each snuggling down among those around them, adding more layers to keep out the bitter cold.

As the hours passed, the mood which was jovial upon arrival turned sombre as letters that had been sent home by soldiers were read aloud. Some spoke of the harsh realities of army life while others, often written by the younger servicemen, were filled with bravado and talk of the great adventures which lay ahead.

Later, as dawn approached, more than 7500 people joined together in the shadows of the rugged cliffs which had proven to be our troops’ downfall.

During the Dawn Service tears flowed freely among even the toughest of men. Despite many of us being strangers and far from home, we joined together in pride.

However it was at Lone Pine, a 3.1km uphill trek from Anzac Cove, where the reality of my pilgrimage hit home. In a drawn out battle, the Anzacs drove the Turks from the area, but it was a hollow victory.

The Lone Pine memorial honours more than 600 men who died and almost 5000 who went missing on the Gallipoli peninsula.

I cried as I imagined our boys facing enemy lines, so close that guns and grenades were rendered useless. Surely they knew their death was imminent.

“There may be close to one million Australians who can trace a direct family link to those diggers who landed at Gallipoli in 1915.”
—Minister Assisting the Prime Minister on the Centenary of Anzac, Warren Snowdon—

Many of the memorials were for boys far younger than my 26 years, so it was impossible not to be moved by their bravery. Each was somebody’s son, husband, father or brother.

Tears again ran over my cheek as we sung Advance Australia Fair, aware for the first time that those who sacrificed their lives are the very reason our beautiful country remains able to rejoice ‘‘for we are young and free’’.

What also stood out during my visit was the respect and friendship the Turkish have for the Anzacs. Walking through Istanbul we heard constant cries of ‘‘Aussie. Kiwi. Anzacs’’.

There are also statues and monuments honouring the ties between the countries; each was caught up in a war they couldn’t win, fighting without knowing why.

As the sun set on Anzac Day, I caught a bus back to Istanbul.

I was burnt, tired and emotional. The previous 24 hours had left a mark on my soul and taught me things about Australia’s history I couldn’t have learned from a book, movie or in a classroom.

Lest we forget.

The pilgrimage begins … everyone lines up to go through a security check.

Beautiful views mask a tragic past.

Keeping warm while we wait for the night to pass.

Waiting for the service at Lone Pine to begin.

The charge at The Nek—on 7 August—is considered to be the most senseless and tragic waste of Australian lives at Gallipoli. Almost 400 Anzac soldiers are believed to have died on this small stretch of land overlooking the sea.

Editor’s note:

The largest gathering of Australians on Anzac Day, outside of Australia, continues to be at Gallipoli and 25 April 2015 will mark the 100th anniversary of the Anzac landings at Gallipoli in 1915.

The Australian Government has confirmed that the allocation of places for the Anzac Day services at Gallipoli in 2015 will be decided by the process of a ballot with the total number of people who will be allowed to attend has been limited to 10,500 (8,000 places will go to Australians; 2000 to New Zealand; and 500 to official guests & dignitaries).

Details of the ballot process have yet to be confirmed. However, the ballot is expected to take place in early 2014.

For more information, click here.

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